I wish you could order shots online.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
