he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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