whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i believe in u and ur pee
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
