but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
