Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
