If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're like the curious george of whores
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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