Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
