Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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