hotel room ftw
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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