His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
