My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's the barista slut.
Green mimosas i think yes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
