i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
