I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
