these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
