Your face is a jimmy john
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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