im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
