I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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