There was a lot of him and a little penis
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
