I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
