theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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