Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
