Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
