I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
