Swine flu. Run for my life!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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