you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
