He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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