when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
