OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
