Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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