I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
