hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
