I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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