...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they're like a gay fantastic four
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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