when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
