Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
