i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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