i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
