Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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