someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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