It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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