I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
