I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
