are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
