just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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