Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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