Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
