I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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