Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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