My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
