Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
