I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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