How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
