she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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