It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
