they call him Oral-B. enough said
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
