The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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