drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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